Letting Go
October 6, 2026
“Let go and let God” has been a slogan I’ve regularly heard in Alanon meetings.
But what does “letting go” actually mean?
How do we let go? Why would we want to? What are we meant to let go of?
For me, because I tend to be codependent and was raised by parents who insisted that I caregive my younger sister, I’m still learning to accept what is happening with and for myself, my beloveds, and the world. And I’m learning to trust that the Divine will take care of all of it. Somehow.
Spending time in twelve-step rooms has shown me that letting go is helpful for my ordinary life, but it’s more — these acts of self-surrender are foundational for our spiritual lives.
The twentieth-century author, theologian, and civil rights activist Howard Thurman writes that the central element in our ability to connect with the Holy is the act of self-surrender.[1] That letting go lays bare the center of ourselves, so our lives can be transmuted into the life of the Divine[2] — into a place permeated by Love.
I’m not inviting a letting go or lying down when we are faced with injustice, lies, or other unloving things.
Wise letting go enables us to let go of the burdens that we cannot change.
It also allows us to surrender to the Source of Life so that we can receive guidance and wisdom in knowing how to best respond to whatever circumstances we’re facing.
Whenever we are called to let go of what feels safe, secure, or familiar, it’s like being birthed into something new.[3] We have a choice — either enter the process of change, letting go of what needs to be released, or remain in our fear and insecurities.[4]
Carl Arico, a Roman Catholic priest and founding member of Contemplative Outreach, says that centering prayer assists the pray-ers to let go of three major obstacles to the spiritual journey — over-conceptualizing, being hyperactive, and being overdependent on ourselves.[5]
Arico describes over-conceptualizing as always trying to figure things out. Guilty as charged! I’m always trying to figure out what’s happening, why it’s happening, and how to improve things. This can be helpful in our lives — but not if it takes over.
Hyperactivity resonates with what I’m seeing in the busyness of North Americans. Many of us wear our busyness as a badge of honour. It’s like we don’t feel worthy unless we’re constantly doing things.
Letting go of this hyperactivity or busyness pattern, especially in our fast-paced culture, is healthier for us and our world. And it allows us to have more time to spend with the Holy, to cultivate our relationship with the Source of Love.
Letting go of over-dependence on ourselves also resonates as I witness how individualistic our societies have become. Relying on others and on the Holy One can be a relief — we don’t have to do everything ourselves.
Clearly, letting go isn’t easy for us humans. But it can be practiced. Small moments of letting go teach us how to let go of the bigger things. A wise person once told me that each letting go, each change, can be a practice for the biggest transition we will ever face — that is, death.
There are a number of ways to practice letting go. For me, the Alanon slogan “Let go and let God” is a wonderful breath prayer.
Some people find centering prayer helpful, since its invitation is to let go of thoughts and feelings while consenting to the presence and action of the Divine within.[6]
Autumn can be a good season to reflect on the spiritual practice of letting go. The falling leaves are visual reminders of the many things we are asked to release throughout our lives.[7]
The Autumn Leaf spiritual practice on the voice note is one way to reflect on “letting go” in our lives.[8] The arts-based practice can be done in your imagination, or you can do your reflection with paper and some coloured pencils or pens.
Howard Thurman, Meditations of the Heart, Beacon Press Books, Boston, MA, 1953, 174.
Ibid, 175.
Joyce Rupp, May I Have This Dance? Ave Maria Press, Notre Dame IN, 1992, 134.
Ibid.
Carl J. Arico, A Taste of Silence: Centering Prayer and the Contemplative Journey, Lantern Books, New York, NY, 2015, 126, 127.
There are many books and videos on centering prayer that explore this in more detail — for example, Carl J. Arico, A Taste of Silence: Centering Prayer and the Contemplative Journey, Lantern Books, New York, NY, 2015 and Thomas Keating, Open Mind, Open Heart: The Contemplative Dimension of the Gospel, Bloomsbury, London, UK, 2006. Also, the Contemplative Outreach YouTube channel, e.g. Thomas Keating, “The Method of Centering Prayer, Part 1,” Contemplative Outreach, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FWvxwfN_CE&list=PLBE6fmRmYU8g6CAOwq4-IEvpSnbBxKfRO, September 13, 2017.
Rupp, May I Have This Dance? 131.
This reflection is based on Rupp, May I Have This Dance? 138, and Christine Valters Paintner, Earth Our Original Monastery: Cultivating Wonder and Gratitude through Intimacy with Nature, Sorin Books, Notre Dame, IN, 2020, 62.
This blog is dedicated to the memory of Maureen Fowler, a beloved spiritual mentor.
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