Memento Mori: Remember you must die

Photo by David Loretto

March 31, 2026

You might be asking why I’m talking about death and not talking about compassion, joy, and other love-based spiritual practices when the world seems to be filled with with so much death and cruelty right now. Why I’m not encouraging myself and you into following Sacred Love.

Well, believe it or not, keeping our death before our eyes is a spiritual practice that can lead us into connecting with Sacred Love. To being deeper in relationship with the Holy. It can be a life-giving practice.

Death also came to my mind because this is Holy Week for Christians, the week that culminates in Jesus’ suffering and death on the cross. The time just before his resurrection on Easter morning. Reflecting on our own death can bring about transformation, small areas of growth in our inner life. Mini resurrections in our own lives.

For those of you who are grieving a loved one or are not in a space to reflect on death I invite you to stop reading this blog until you feel like it’s the right thing to do. Follow your heart. Follow Spirit.

If reading this post is causing any negative reaction in your body, I invite you to consider reaching out for support—perhaps by speaking to a friend, a counsellor, a crisis line, [1].

Recently the practice of “memento mori” has become a more familiar spiritual practice. Even TikTok has people speaking about it.

The Latin phrase memento mori means “remember you must die.” It’s not a new practice. In fact, it was written into the rule of Saint Benedict of Nursia in the 6th century.

I don’t know why this ancient practice has had a resurgence lately. I wonder if the reality of death has been coming more to our awareness because of the Covid 19 pandemic, so many wars happening around the world, deaths of people from changes in funding to health organizations and the developing world, deaths of protestors, and so much more.

It seems that the fragility of life is becoming more apparent to us twenty-first century earthlings.

Saint Benedict’s Rule to remember to keep our deaths before our eyes isn’t meant to create fear, sadness or anxiety. It’s a spiritual practice which encourages us to focus on what is essential in life. A practice that invites us to be grateful and to assist us in trusting the Divine as we live out our lives,

The truth is that mortality is the ultimate equalizer of all humans. No one will escape this reality, [2]. Our death could happen in a day, a month, or years from now. It’s an uncertainty that we all live with.

Prayerfully remembering the reality of life’s impermanence is one way to help us live with intention and attend to the fullness of life with all of its joys and challenges.

Accepting this reality invites us into a deeper connection with the Holy and can inspire us into a deeper seeking of the presence of the Sacred in our lives.

I find that this spiritual practice has been helpful to me when I'm discerning life decisions.

Asking myself the question “How would I choose, what would I do if I were to die tomorrow?” allows me to make decisions knowing that I have made the best possible choice in the situation.

Another gift of the practice is that I’ve been calmer when I’ve brought the Divine into my decision-making.

Memento mori, along with my daily examen, has assisted me in making small and not-so-small life transitions. And a wise elder once told me that each transition made, soaked in the Holy, can help to prepare us for death, the biggest transition that we will ever experience.

There are several spiritual practices that involve reflecting on the reality of death.

While these practices can be healing and can help us to accept the inevitable with hope, they can also bring up complex emotions, [3].

So, I gently invite you to enter into any of the practices below only as you feel able and ideally to do so knowing that you have a trustworthy soul friend who can accompany you in the process.

1. Spend 10-20 minutes, (or more) prayerfully imagining yourself lying on your deathbed. After your reflection, have your deathbed-self write a letter to your present-day self. Consider what wisdom you would impart to yourself.

   
   

2. Spend a few minutes each day prayerfully reflecting on your death:

Connect with the Source of Love in a few moments of quiet.

Perhaps add a breath prayer such as:

Inhale: Show me who I am, Exhale: And what is mine to do, [4].

Journal about your experience or journal about it as a part of a daily examen practice, [5].

Share your reflections with a soul friend, [6].

3. Visible reminders to assist you in doing the practice can include, [7]:

a. Placing a note to yourself in a prominent place. This might include any words that remind you to remember your death.

b. Prominently placing a photo or other art of a skull, skeleton, crucifix, coffin, dying flowers, a deceased loved one, or any symbol that reminds you of death.

4. Consider using any of the resources from the Daughters of Saint Paul which include a memento mori journal, Lenten resources, and calendar, [8].

1. In Canada there is a 24 hour, 7 Day/Week Crisis Line: Call or Text 988.

2. Cole Arthur Riley, Black Liturgies: Prayers, Poems, and Meditations for Staying Human, Hodder & Stoughton Ltd., London, UK, 2024, 192.

3. Sr. Theresa Aletheia Noble, Memento Mori, Pursued by Truth, https://pursuedbytruthblog.wordpress.com/memento-mori/

4. From: Sarah Bessey’s Field Notes, 40 Breath Prayers for When You are Despairing, January 27, 2025. https://sarahbessey.substack.com/p/breath-prayers-despairing?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email

5. See link for the Spirituality for Chaotic Times Blog describing the Examen: https://www.vancouverspiritualdirection.com/single-post/spirituality-for-chaotic-times-the-examen

6. There are even online memento mori communities. See #mementomori and #livemementomori.

7. Anna Nussbaum Keating, Memento Mori: A Practice for Living, Spirituality & Health: A Unity Publication, https://www.spiritualityhealth.com/articles/2020/07/14/memento-mori-a-practice-for-living?srsltid=AfmBOooYtFE08geW_T0WrcDjv0V4W6f9Ye072B8ofLSJJEEp8XxH0ckd, 2026.

8. See https://paulinestore.ca/catalogsearch/result/?q=+memento+mori

This blog is dedicated to the memory of Maureen Fowler, a beloved spiritual mentor.