Tears
- Jun 23
- 5 min read
June 23, 2026
Tears seem particularly important in this time when we are witnessing the destruction and loss of so many things and so many injustices. Even so, it’s not easy to sit with our anger and grief, to allow our tears to flow.
Some people have the “gift of tears”—crying whenever they experience deep sorrow or joy. But most of us bottle things up, and when tears come, we wipe them away as if they’re something to be ashamed of.
For most of my life I’ve experienced this “gift” of tears. I accepted this oddness about myself--but my frequent watery eyes didn’t feel like a gift. I always needed a tissue, felt a need to wipe away my tears with a minimum of commotion, and to wear water-proof makeup. That is, unless I wanted to have racoon eyes, or have people notice my "lack of control" over my emotions.
My tears made me feel weak. Vulnerable.
A few years back I went on some medications that prevented me from crying. I was surprised to find that I missed my tears. That they’d been important to my well-being. And opposite to what I’d believed, my tears had actually helped me to manage hard feelings. Somehow, these salty cleansing drops had a healing effect.
Even more remarkable, I found that my tears had been an important indicator of when I was connected to the Holy, to Truth.
During the years that I was on those medications I had to learn to live “tear free” when experiencing deep grief, anger, and even during joy-filled times of awe and wonder. It was tough.
Losing the ability to cry was so shocking that I felt a need to research the human physiological and spiritual effects of crying.
I learned that there are several physiological effects of tearing up:
Crying stimulates our parasympathetic nervous system, regulating our body temperature and blood pressure, assisting our bodies to calm, [1]. Tears also affect our hormonal system, flushing out excess stress hormones and releasing oxytocin, the “love hormone” and endorphins, which reduce our pain and boost our mood, [2].
The connection between tears and our connection to the Holy has been identified in a number of transformational spiritual traditions, [3]. Often grief and mourning are seen as opportunities for personal and communal transformation, [4].
In the Christian Scriptures Jesus wept when he saw his dead friend Lazarus, (John 11:35) and when he was approaching Jerusalem, (Luke 19: 41). He was deeply moved and sat with his grief. He didn’t avoid the reality in front of him. Jesus also said “Blessed are those who weep/mourn," (Matthew 5:4, Luke 6: 21).
Author and theologian Hanna Reichel says that Jesus’ example invites us to sit with the mounting crises that we’re experiencing in today’s chaotic world, so that we don’t become desensitized, that we don’t numb out or become indifferent, [5].
Allowing ourselves to sit with these feelings and cry, (if we can), are also a way that we can emotionally and spiritually deal with what is happening in the world, as well as assist us in building our capacity for empathy.
In the 3rd-6th centuries, the early Christian monks described exactly what I’d experienced when I'd had the “gift” of tears. The monks said that tears open the soul and enable the possibility of an authentic relationship with the Divine and others, [6]. But they also said that tears could not be manufactured or planned for, that they were gifts that mysteriously arrive, [7].
The Ancient ones believed that tears often played a central role in helping people and communities face crises and respond creatively to them, [8].
If this is true, then our 2026 world certainly could use as many tears as possible.
Franciscan priest and writer Richard Rohr fleshes this out even further in his book The Tears of Things. He says “only tears can move.. us beyond our deserved and paralyzing anger at evil, death, and injustice without losing the deep legitimacy of that anger,” [9].
Rohr suggests that we move into a “way of tears” in which we “develop a real empathy for reality, knowing that we can’t fully fix things, entirely change them or make them to our liking,” [10].
In Rohr’s suggested “way of tears” we become less likely to seek control through willpower, commandment, force, retribution and violence, [11].
Instead, the way of tears moves us towards empathy, love, and compassion, bringing these gifts of the Spirit into our lives and into our hurting world.
And so, I invite you into this way of tears. To sit with your hard feelings. Perhaps tears will come. Perhaps not. There’s no pressure for either outcome.
It may be helpful to add some journaling, art, sharing with a soul friend, telling stories, or other spiritual practice(s) that might assist you in connecting with the Divine as you contemplate the reality of the world.
Here are some questions to assist your reflection: [12]
What are you grieving right now? Is there something in your own life, or the lives of your beloveds?
Are you grieving about what's happening in the world? Perhaps it involves the loss of the natural world and climate stability, the global rules-based order, trade agreements, truth, morality, decency, respect for human life, or more.
What do you feel in your body when you reflect on the reality of these sad and /or harsh situations? Pay attention to the sensations in your body, the emotions that arise. Can you allow Holy Love to bless these sensations and feelings?
Are you open to crying and the vulnerability that comes with it? Do you feel shame or guilt if you can or cannot cry? Can you allow Spirit to bathe you in love and acceptance in either case?
The song Sólo le pido a Dios composed by León Gieco and sung by Mercedes Sosa might further assist your reflection:
Pam McPhail, Let the Tears Flow, Sunset Years Blog, https://sunsetyears.ca/tears/, September 30, 2022.
Ibid.
Douglas E. Christie, The Blue Sapphire of the Mind: Notes for a Contemplative Ecology, Oxford University Press, Oxford, U.K., 2013, 71.
Ibid, 72.
Hanna Reichel, For Such a Time as This: An Emergency Devotional, William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, Grand Rapids, MI, 2025, 16,
Douglas E. Christie, The Blue Sapphire of the Mind, 72.
Ibid, 74.
Ibid.
Richard Rohr, The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for An Age of Outrage, Convergent, New York, NY, 2025, 3
Ibid, 4.
Ibid.
These reflection questions come from my own ideas and ideas from Douglas E. Christie, The Blue Sapphire of the Mind, 77 and Hanna Reichel, For Such a Time as This, 17-18.
This blog is dedicated to the memory of Maureen Fowler, a beloved spiritual mentor.
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